


A Match Made in Hell

by Psionic_Ripple



Category: Bayonetta (Video Games), Devil May Cry
Genre: But still lots of fluff too??, But they will probably be very ooc I'm sorry, Dante purrs lol, F/M, LOTS of flirting and innuendos, i love these two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 13:57:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15797925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psionic_Ripple/pseuds/Psionic_Ripple
Summary: The King of the Character Action Genre meets his Queen, and so relentless teasing from his good buddies back in Devil May Cry ensues.





	A Match Made in Hell

Despite having the incredible powers of darkness, being an Umbran Witch, Cereza was _not_ -to put it lightly-having a good day. Describing journeys through Hell as ‘unpleasant’ was never anything other than a severe understatement, and the ‘quick trip’ that the ravenette was currently enduring was certainly shaping up to be an exception, what with the usual risks getting her body slashed to ribbons, being devoured or, indeed, having her very soul stolen by a particularly ravenous demon and whatnot, and Cereza had just about had it. And all this trouble for once incy-wincy spider, too! For it was for Phantasmaranae, a powerful infernal that took on the form of a terrifyingly gargantuan tarantula, that she was making the perilous passage through Inferno on what  _should_ have been a fine day if she had went on her shopping trip with her best friend and Umbran sister, Jeanne, as planned. The infernal had reacted most aggressively to being summoned during-or at the climax of, rather-combat the day prior, and after consulting her demonic arms dealer and informant, Rodin, she decided it was best to confront the the demon herself; To show it who has boss, as one might say.

* * *

 

What would soon prove to make Cereza’s gruelling journey much more interesting, however, lay just outside the vile nest of Phantasmaranae in the form of an unusual man, pale in complexion and with hair as white as snow, who donned a leather coat that was a deep scarlet in colour. He lay flat on his back, and while he at first appeared to be harmless due to the fact that he was sleeping as peacefully as a newborn kitten, Cereza’s silver optics quickly fell upon the stranger’s fist, in which the hilt of a menacingly large was gripped tightly; Perhaps the male was more like a lion at rest than a snoozing cat, but then, the fact that he was taking a  _nap_ in Inferno was an indication of that in itself, and so the famed witch was immediately on guard as she took slow, cautious steps towards him. Kneeling by his side with no injuries to show as a result of doing so, Cereza’s more compassionate side persuaded her to give the lightly snoring man a much more pleasant awakening than she’d previously envisioned, and so she took a gentle hold of his shoulders before shaking him awake as delicately as possible.

* * *

"One pepperoni deep dish wi- HUH?!” Blue eyes wide in alarm as he was withdrawn from his surprisingly pleasant-considering the location of his temporary ‘bed’-slumber, the male’s instincts ordered him to defend himself from the sudden, unfamiliar presence, and so poor Cereza quickly found a pair of twin handguns aimed at her head as the man jolted into an upright position, having not even stopped to look at her. But when he  _did_ finally look at what he believed to be his assailant, the two guns, Ebony and Ivory, dropped to his side; And it took a lot of willpower to stop his jaw from doing the same, for kneeling beside him had to be most beautiful woman he’d ever set eyes on. Recovering quickly as he slid the handguns into their holsters, he struggled to keep his gaze  _above_ her collarbone as he flashed her a winning smile. “Well, ain’t you one hell of an alarm clock?” he greeted with a cheerful wink, gazing at her with enough curiosity to again remind the witch of a kitten. “Sorry if I scared ya there!”

Cereza snorted bemusedly in dismissal of his apology before getting to her feet, placing both hands on her hips as she inclined her head to the side and stared down at him with mild intrigue. He certainly was an eccentric one..

* * *

“What’s a foolish little boy like you, pray tell, doing lounging around in Hell? You certainly don’t look as if you’re having a pyjama party.”

“Huh? You’re telling me this is _Hell_? When I laid eyes on you, babe, I was nearly  _certain_ that I was in heaven..”

Cereza blinked rapidly in response to the man’s flirtatious response. Whether she liked it or not, she was more than used to men complimenting her, but in  _Hell_ of all places? Seriously? Who on earth was this man? Whoever he was, Cereza wasn’t in the mood to humour him, regardless of his admittedly quite visually appealing physical attributes as well as what was undoubtedly a _very_ interesting backstory, and so she sighed heavily in mock disgust before rolling her eyes and strutting away from him without so much as a single word, much to the alarm to the man she was now leaving behind. 

“Hey, hey hey! Hold on! If this really  _is_ Hell, then you wouldn’t happen to know where the nearest fire safety exit is, wouldja? I don’t really feel like hanging around-!” He exclaimed hastily as he scrambled to his feet and took a few quick steps after the witch, who stopped in her tracks and sighed once more again before turning around to frown at him, adjusting her rectangular glasses as she studied his sword and guns yet again.

* * *

“Tell me, boy, are you any good with those little toys of yours?”

Dante smirked but wore a facade of modesty. “Oh,” he purred modestly, “You mean these old things? Well, I do my best. Why?”

“Help me slay an infernal, and if I’m satisfied by your performance, then I can promise you a safe exit. How does that sound?”

“Like a deal.”

“Good. Now come along then, and stay close. If you fall into the jaws of something undesirable, I’m not fishing you out. Got it?”

“Oh, that won’t be a problem, babe. I can handle myself just fine.”

“We’ll just have to see about that, then, won’t we?”

“I suppose we will.”

As their exchange came to an end, Cereza glanced over her shoulder at the silveret. “Don’t suppose someone’s given you a name, have they?”

The male chuckled warmly.

“Name’s Dante, babe. And you are...?”

Cereza hummed softly in response to his question, folding her arms and cocking her head to the side as she regarded the man in red. “You may call me Bayonetta, dear. For now.”

“For now?”

The witch regarded him with a ghost of a smirk. “You’ll earn my real name when you earn my confidence, Boy.  _If_ you fancy sticking around long enough to do so, after we leave Inferno, that is. You’re quite an intriguing figure, Dante. Perhaps we should go for tea sometime?”

“Oh, I’m sure I can find time for you _somewhere_ in my busy schedule.. If you’re lucky.”

Cereza scoffed but failed to mask the amused smile playing about her face. “Don’t push /your/ luck with that sort of talk,” she warned playfully, before turning away and nodding towards the nest. “Are you ready?” 

Dante snorted indignantly at the question, bringing the flat of the blade of his sword, Rebellion, to rest over his shoulder. “With a woman like you by my side, how could I _not_ be?”

* * *

“ _T_ _his_ guy is what you needed my help with? I think a dedicated exterminator could handle him!” Dante quipped, his voice dripping with confidence as he effortlessly evaded Phantasmaranae’s attacks, his blue eyes gleaming briefly with malice as Rebellion sliced cleanly through one of its many legs. The infernal screeched in agony and rage, spitting a volley of blazing fireballs in the general direction of its assailants, all of which were quickly shot down by the combined efforts of Ebony, Ivory and Love is Blue. “I don’t  _need_ your help with him, Boy. I’m simply feeling generous enough to give you the pleasure of fighting alongside me as well as an excuse for me to give you safe passage home,” Cereza responded snarkily, cartwheeling and dodging Phantasmaranae’s attacks with grace the likes of which Dante had never seen in his life. It awed him, almost, how much her fighting style looked like a dance; Every strike and evasion resembled a highly rehearsed choreography of sorts, and one that only a professional dancer would have the talent to do, at that. Even when the clothes _weren't_ dissipating from her body to become a gigantic, demonic something or other-what was up with that, anyway?-he found himself unable to take his eyes off of her and her graceful movements. “Woah!” he cried out in surprise as yet another fireball grazed his cheek, and finally forced himself to return to the fight. 

* * *

 

Unfortunately for Dante, who felt as if he hadn’t done enough to ‘prove himself’ to the mysterious Bayonetta, Cereza was just about ready to wrap things up, it seemed, for the wretched Phantasmaranae had lowered its great, black body to the ground, quivering in pain as it hissed submissively up at the witch, who bore a smirk as she tutted down at the ginormous tarantula. “Oh my.. Whatever am I going to do with you, hmm? You turn on me in battle, but now that I’m here in  _f_ ront of you, you’re looking at me like a puppy dog! How sweet!” she exclaimed with a cheerful smile, even going as far as to pat the infernal on the head in an affectionate manner. Dante, naturally, was speechless. “We’re not slaying him after all, Dante! We made up.”

“Yeah.. So he’s okay with how he’s just lost about 3 limbs, too?”

“Of course! They’ll grow back over time. Come now, let’s get you home now, hm?”

“If you say so…”

After Phantasmaranae was reminded to maintain his part of he and the witch’s contract, Dante and Cereza were quick to emerge from his nest-which was certainly a first, for nothing had ever escaped the fangs of the Twister of Flame-and were just about to begin a pleasant journey back to the Human World when the third (and thankfully final) infernal of the day made its appearance. On this particular occasion, the pair was graced by the presence of Gomorrah, a ferocious dragon whose hunger held no bounds, not even for Cereza, for it had already once slain Jeanne and was now eyeing up Dante as if he was an all-you-can-eat buffet. Roaring ravenously, Gomorrah advanced towards them menacingly, globules of saliva dripping from its terrible jaws like a miniature waterfall. Cereza groaned in exasperation, but Dante simply tapped her shoulder. “How about I make  _you_ a deal, Bayonetta? If I help you take this little guy down in one minute or less, then you /have/ to come out for a drink with me when we get home. Deal?” He asked hopefully, extending his gloved hand out towards her with that god damned winning smile. It was already starting to mess with her a little.. 

“.. It’s a deal, so we’d best finish this quickly then, hmm?” she purred playfully, raising an eyebrow at the man in red.

“You know it! Let’s rock, baby!”

* * *

While Nero had been anticipating the return of his Uncle, Dante, for _hours_ , nothing could’ve prepared the young man for the way in which he finally arrived home, for while the doors being violently kicked open was nothing out of the ordinary, what  _was_ out of the ordinary was the fact that it wasn’t Dante who had done the kicking, but instead an exceedingly tall-and jaw droppingly beautiful-woman who had the aforementioned demon hunter slung over her shoulder like a towel. “I take it you know this man?” she asked the bewildered Nero sharply, waving the business card that she had taken from Dante’s coat pocket at him. Nero cleared his throat. What the  _hell_ had that old man gone and done now? Nero watched with uncertainty as Cereza stepped briskly towards the empty couch, where she carefully deposited the seemingly unconscious Dante. Wiping her hands on her outfit, Cereza turned to face Nero, who she correctly assumed to be a relative of his. “My apologies, Little One, but Dante seems to have drunk a bit too much. I trust that you will be able to take care of him?”

Nero blinked rapidly, but nodded.

“Wonderful.”

Cereza began to leave, but hesitated when she reached the door-frame, and turned around to meet eyes with Nero, who was still observing her curiously. 

“Be a dear and tell him that Bayonetta will stop by for tea tomorrow, won’t you?”

“.. You got it.”

She smiled. “Wonderful,” she repeated, and with that, she was gone, leaving poor Nero alone to wonder what had went down between his Uncle and that mysterious, mysterious lady.

 


End file.
